Turkey Monster: Turkey, Turkey, Turkey Starts With "T"

Last night I convinced Adam to steal a Warehouse jacket off of the wall at 2 a.m. This was not a bright idea considering we were all gladly ignorant last night off a handle of Bowman's Vodka and Food Lion brand Pineapple-Orange concoction. Frivolous, I know. Anywho, after dancing to outlandish music by a band called "The Worx" (note the creativity of the "X"), being stalked by the unmentionable situation of Friday night that I'd like to call "An Occurrence at Blow Job Bridge" (Watch out, It could end the same way but with reputations "on the line"), and other occurrences that I can't remember at this time (refer back to lines 3 and 4: Bowman's Vodka), we decided to steal the ugliest piece of windbreaker clothing ever known to man. It was blue with an embroidered patch of excellence that read "The Warehouse."

If you are not familiar with "The Warehouse," it is a beautiful little piece of heaven just over the state line. Rules: none (besides the ignorant fashion guideline that all men (only men) must have their shirts tucked in). Priviledges: "Brown Bagging," white people dancing, and people screaming to a covered version of one of Nickelback's beautiful pieces of artwork they call "music." At any rate, Adam stole this beautiful windbreaker (rack and all) off the wall, but he ruined the plan. He threw the jacket down in the parking lot, and then my husband picked it up (my husband being the innocent bystander at this point). So, the bouncer was pissed. Meanwhile, I'm ignorant (refer to lines 3 and 4), so I am yelling because I'm mad we don't have the jacket and scared JC might have to take the blame for this scrimmage we decided to play. All I have to say is the scrimmage may have been lost, but the championship is yet to come, you ugly ass fucking jacket.

After all this is said and done, Adam has to spend the night at our house (refer to lines 3 and 4). He created a clever little sandwich made of turkey, cheese, and mustard, but it turned out to be a "much elusive" sandwich. This story of the turkey sandwich is a tragic one because Adam decided to pick up my yorkie to give him the usual pep talk, and the dog took a slow motion dive into the paradisaical sandwich Adam was so intent on eating. It was an anticlimactic event to say the least. "The Rape of the Turkey" in slow motion. If only the turkey sandwich had turned into a shooting star at the end of the night.