Occasionally [and by occasionally, I mean often], I find myself alluding my entire life to something else. From windy days reminding me of Shelley's Ode to the West Wind to tragedies in Haiti reminding me of Saved By the Bell and oil spills on the football field [and poor Lucy, the duck] to John Wayne reminding me of John Wayne Gacy and clowns which in turn reminds me of Chuck Klosterman which leads me to think of damn soccer and its insignificance.
At any rate, I truly do live my life like "The Secret Life of Sir Walter Mitty" [and every time I get drunk and flick a cigarette, I consider turning around to face the firing squad. see? it. never. fucking. stops.]
I'm quite okay with my allusional mind. You learn to live with it like diabetes or silent farts or menstrual cycles. Recently, my allusional mind has led me to the idea of turtles. Turtles and magical rings. You see, I used to want to be Donatello (the purple one, duh.), but I now realize that I am more a fused character of Bebop and Rocksteady. That's right. The random ass dudes are symbolic of how I live my life. In the shadows. Serving a greater power. Ignorant, unaware, and following a driving force that is supposedly evil only because they're too dumb to realize the difference between good and evil. Well, I refuse to be anything like those two motherfuckers any longer. I know too many Bebop and Rocksteady's that have no idea that life is life is life, and "there is no right way or wrong way, you just have to live" (Regards to Conor, always).
You're probably wondering what Captain Planet has to do with all this. Aside from having a fabulous theme song, this godlike figure is doing the damn thing. At least he gives his disciples powers. Earth, fire, wind, water, heart. And when their powers combine, they create a hot little number in tighty whities, bulging muscles, and blue skin. Sign. Me. Up. I refuse to be Bebop and Rocksteady any longer because I want to be the Asian kid with the heart ring.
this. is why. i love you. :)
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