A Valentine's Day Tribute To J.C.

We had a big wedding. That's what I wanted. I dreamed about it when I was a little girl. It was hectic, expensive, over-the-top, and stressful. I was drunk by 6 p.m. Enough said.

The cliche truth is that I would have married JC at the courthouse downtown in a vintage dress [I wouldn't even have needed blue Manolos]. I would have married him on the beach, in the backyard, or at VooDoo Donuts for all I care, but that's not the main point I want to make.

I constantly talk shit about the institution of marriage while I am an active participant. I talk shit because when I step back and look at the world as a whole, the institution seems so insignificant in the grand scheme of things. It has the same significance as the metaphorical heart and holy water.

[now hear me out. there is a point.]

I married JC because that's what people do. We jumped on the bandwagon because that's what people do. But, you see, to me, the beauty in it all is that it would have been just fine and appropriate for me to be with him forever—either way—marriage or no marriage.

You see, we have made our own institution that exceeds any marriage institution. We are not just married. We have chosen to spend our lives together not because of a ceremony, or a piece of paper, or matching names, or joint tax refunds. We chose to share our one and only life together. We chose because love is the greatest democracy ever known.

Emily Bronte once said, "Whatever souls are made of, his and mine are the same." I don't even know if there is such thing as a soul [great. now i'm tearing. son-of-a-bitch.], but I do know that whatever the definition or whatever the existence of the soulmate may be, we are that.