Uv Àjéd

Last night I awoke to a realization

of nothing.

It was as though I went to bed the

night before our sixth grade field

trip and woke up to being twenty-six,

Bachelors,

Masters,

marriage.

I didn’t know the man beside me.

It was something like the opposite

of déjà vu.

I felt ruled by nothing—

like titanium

thrown into the crucible—

nothing to

cling to.

I decided to go back to church as

I stared out the window from the

toilet (I need to feel ruled)—

But then I’d only feel like oil

thrown into

water.